…Sometimes even the strongest people need to break down once in a while.
We live in a society characterized by strength, being okay, being strong for the weak ones and succeeding in this cutthroat world. We sometimes reach our breaking point - yet we still continue to sacrifice moon and stars for the ones we care about, but the most important thing that we have to learn as human beings, is the fact that even Superman needs a savior now and again…
We all know that Superman was born Kal-El on the planet Krypton, right before he was rocketed to Planet Earth by his father who was a scientist, Jor-El, right before the planet Krypton was destroyed. The little infant was then discovered by a small Kansas family and immediately adopted. He was raised with a stupendous sense of moral fibre - he was then known as Clark Kent. After a few years of just living and existing as a human being, of course he wondered why he was different and then this lead to the discovery of his supernatural powers.
This little story is allegorical and one can learn so much from it. Its very easy to just dispel this story as “fiction” without even thinking of the cardinal lessons that are entrapped in this beautiful web of written art.
The first lesson that we can learn from this piece is the fact that we give too much. I’ve always prided myself on giving a lot to the people I care about. I would go out of my way to make other people comfortable. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still in the stage characterized by selfishness - being young and unattached definitely has its perks - but above and beyond that, I’m just the guy who cares too much. I’d listen to other people’s problems, forgetting my own. I make other people’s suffering my own, in a (subconscious?) bid to alleviate the hurt and pain that they’ve probably been feeling.
Its a very taxing thing to do. Initially one gets a lot of satisfaction out of helping people in any way possible. One example:
One night a few of my friends decided that we should go out for the night. We go dancing and had a few drinks and then we met someone. We befriended this person and they were really down. So I took the liberty of asking them if everything was still okay. It ended up that the person had deep routed problems and was considering committing suicide. There I was: In the middle of a suicidal stranger and having to deal with the emotional ramifications of having to listen and put myself in their situation.
Its a known fact that, the moment one starts to care for someone, you tend to almost feel the feelings that they do - when you reach that point where you care so much for people that you’d even sacrifice yourself for their piece of mind. This is wrong…
Its not a bad thing to be a caring and loving individual. You have to take care of yourself as well, for how can you take care of someone when you do not have the capacity to take care of yourself, first? Charity starts at home: Inside, just like happiness.
Another lesson that we can learn, is to always stay true to yourself. Superman came to this planet as a little baby: Not knowing anything about anything… All alone in the world without any sense of being. Of course he had the inherent characteristics that could develop into having values and norms, but at that point, he is completely helpless and should rely on two big hearted strangers who came and adopted him and gave him the necessary tools in order to become a great savior. I think this should really be every single parents’ goal when raising their child: Raise them to become a Superman/woman. Raise them to be able to be in the position of handling the biggest responsibilities on Earth. Raise them to have people on their mind all the time - to be considerate and loving, yet strong individuals.
One interesting fact about Superman was his double life. When he was Clark Kent, he was the most humble and purest of beings. He was a little boy who grew up in a humble home and who treated everyone with respect. He was often the kid who was bullied and taken advantage of, all because of how he was brought up, to be a loving and caring individual. When he warped into this muscle machine of a man who saves children, distressed people and animals, lifts up cars and fights of evil in a bid to make the world a better place, he STILL shared characteristics with his other half. He was still humble, yet strong. He was compassionate, yet not naive. He was lenient, but also observed the law with a hawk’s eye. He didn’t change. He had this tough exterior, but inside he was still the same little Clark Kent from Kansas. He didn’t let people, power or some kind of status manipulate him into thinkinng that he’s something more than anyone else.
That is one lesson that has to be learnt. We need to live our lives in such a way that we don’t give people the idea that we think we are superior to them in any kind of way. Equality is the main door to opening floodgates of respect. We also should not use our strengths and capabilities to cause harm, because harm is like a boomerang: it always comes back to the one who sent it out.
A very important lesson that I can learn from this Super Guy is the fact that he didn’t change for anyone. He didn’t let power corrupt his being himself all the time. He didn’t feel the need to pretend to people. He didn’t smear his ability into other people’s faces. Think what could have happened, had Clark bragged about being Superman - his villains would have learnt his weakness so much earlier. Bragging and boastfulness puts so much more pressure on a person to perform, thus reaching your breakiing point is much easier!
Weakness
Everyone, no matter how strong, has an infinite weakness. Something that could catalyze every single achievement that one reached, every single accolade obtained, every single building block to success, and dissolve everything. A weakness could be the thing that could be quite double sided: You could allow it to destroy you and make you account for nothing in life. Your weakness could destroy your moral fibre and destroy every single relationship that you have. Or you could decide to make your weakness your strength. If you know your weakness, then you know your limitations. You’ll know not to give more than you have. You’ll save yourself from becoming insane for having the want to give more and more to people you love and not having more.
Weakness is also an important part in keeping people grounded. On planet earth, Superman is amazing. He can fly and possesses super strength, infrared eyesight, superhuman strength and infinite endurance. But on his planet, Krypton, he is just like everyone else. He is just as strong as the next person and he is not really something as special as he is on earth - all because of Kryptonite. Your weakness can keep you grounded on all spheres. It can be used as a reminder of how your strengths are so special and should be cherished. It can be used to remind yourself that you are only human and also make mistakes, although you possess the ability to help people, there’s only SO MUCH YOU CAN DO.
Only on the Planet Earth of our problems will our weaknesses have the potential to drag us down - Our Achilles Heel will only have the strongest potential to let us down when we are not in our comfort zone.
Coming back to the issue of giving too much, I want to highlight sacrifice.
Sacrifice is one thing that is a lot of people’s Achilles Heel. People are not willing to sacrifice if its needed, and if a sacifice is not at all required, people sacrifice too fast. Only when someone sacrifices something so dear to them, does it make sense. Only when you think about what you are about to do, and then go through with your plan after carefully gone through all of the pros and cons of doing what you are doing, then only will your sacrifice be deemed as appropriate by your conscience.
Look at Jor-El, the father of Superman. He sacrificed his son in the blink of an eye. He did it to save him from the grasp of death. He didn’t even think of himself for a second. He just automatically wanted something better for his son.
I think people have this view of what a sacrifice truly means. The moment you mention the word “sacrifice” people automatically think of something so extremely difficult to do, that the result of whatever they might earn, is not even worth the trouble of going through the sacrificial act. When people realize that a sacrifice needn’t be a life threatening situation all the time. It could take for you to sacrifice something as insignificant as one hour to study each day. It could take for you to sacrifice that one drink in order to buy fruit and live healthily. It could take for you to sacrifice the time you set aside for a friend to help them out of their issues, just for the sake of spending time by yourself for a change… Working on YOU before you are working FOR other people…
As humans, we characterise our moral fibre according to what we are able to give to other people. Of how far we can extend ourselves for the benefit of others and this should not be.
We should judge ourselves by the strength we possess that could allow us to be weak once in a while.
We should maintain and emphasise our inherent ability for dependence. You might have every material necessity in the world, but there will be that dependence that you will seek…
We should quit trying to be Superman all the time, and remind ourselves that even Kal-El had a break and became the weaker Clark Kent every now and again.
We should help out where we can, but not exceed our capacity for burdens. If you are only meant to carry five kilos of worries, don’t go ahead and load six… You might think you’re helping the other person, but you’re just destroying yourself and making them feel bad for having unloaded on you.
Have broad arms to hold, a big chest for compassion, eyes to be vigilant of your neighbor’s worries, hands for holding onto the ones you love, a smile for letting them go if they wish or of appreciation if they choose to stay, have strong legs to say no to giving too much, and once in a while, have a cape to hide and protect yourself, just to see who will come and pull it off and save Superman…
